Comments on: The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation

By: RebL

RebL — Mon, 20 Nov 2006 01:13:01 +0000

If you are zooming through the parking lot where a daycare is located, say, the Tucson Jewish Community Center, in your “it shouldn’t hurt to be a kid” minivan or gold-plated SUV while on your phone, “they” should automatically withdraw your golf-green and/or botox privileges.

By: laocoon

laocoon — Sun, 19 Nov 2006 05:30:49 +0000

If I had friends, would I be blogging on a Saturday night? When I DO get a call on my cell phone, I’m all “Hey! Look at me! Look! See how important I am?”, even when it’s just the Salvation Army wanting to know if I’ll have anything for their truck when it comes through the neighborhood next Tuesday. I talk to that lady like she’s some big client in Timbuktu or London or something.

Listen to me. The Trojans failed to listen to Laocoon when he told them to leave that damn horse outside the gates, so you listen to me now. Cell phones are a trojan horse. It’s all part of the midget plot to pollute our civilisation; the idea is to soften us up for the kill. It has to be midgets. Why else would all the phones be getting smaller and smaller? See. It aaallllll fits together now, doesn’t it?

By: John X

John X — Sun, 19 Nov 2006 02:26:59 +0000

That’s a trick question.

I don’t have any friends.

By: dzaster

dzaster — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 22:35:09 +0000

Does this mean you won’t answer your phone anymore when you are having coffee with a friend?

By: John X

John X — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 21:30:51 +0000

Agreed, 100%.

Another sign of the coming apocalypse is the weird news you hear about people who STAND IN LINE OVERNIGHT for a motherfucking CHRISTMAS TOY for their brats at home.

Fights break out in these lines, and in at least one case, bandits tried to rob (or succeeded, I can’t remember) those standing in line, suspecting they’d have lots o’ Xmas cash with them.

STANDING IN LINE OVERNIGHT so you can buy a fucking Play Station, or whatever this year’s Tickle Me Elmo bullshit is.

Good thing I don’t have kids. They’d hate me.

Was with friends last night, one of whom brought her 14 year old daughter along. Yep, you guessed it: the kid’s mobile phone rang incessently. Mom said nothing. I would have said: If that fucking thing rings one more time, you’ll never see it again. Turn it the fuck OFF at dinner!

Good thing I don’t have kids. I’d hate them.

The midgets are behind all this, by the way…