Moody Moon

This poem was written for the lovely Juliet and I hope she doesn’t object to having it shared.

Moody Moon

Does this full moon tug at the ocean in your eyes?

Do you look for me skyward

Waxing and waning, always in flux?

When the sky is clear and cold

and winter’s chill reflects the ice

crystalline in rings around Lunar

Climes

Rhymes

Times

the waves lap darkly blue at the lake wall

when the wind is from the North.

But Gulf’s warm wafts

Will come again

and lights from the restaurants

across the way will give colored

sparks to the river of moonlight

we watch, kissing, holding the heart

of our desire.

Passion Power

Amour’s flower.

Your name whispers through this night.

The Holidays are SO confusing!

Sometimes family circles become spirals of memories and old feuds. Old hurts dredge up. Our childhood wounds become today’s disappointments and the love we want still eludes us.

We feel the pressures of our impulse buys while we struggle to stay with our Christmas lists and the crowds make us cranky from the moment we start looking for a parking place. Today, especially, it’s a major undertaking just to get the hell out of the house only to slip and slide on the ice and snow that covers Oklahoma City.

There’s all that end-of-year business stuff when we get the bad news about just how hard we worked for how little and we have to catch up on the boring paperwork we’ve been putting off since October, or maybe June.

There’s the spillover from our friends and lovers as their stuff spins out of control and we all take it out on each other and expect some “slack” from people we love who have no more slack to give.

All of this set against the inevitable out-of-control expectations that we’ll feel all along like a 7 year old boy unwrapping an Xbox 360 on Christmas morning in our footies and bed head.

There’s nothing like Christmas to destroy my Christmas spirit.

As I write this, snow has begun falling gently, promising a White Christmas but delivering wretched driving and frayed nerves. It’s a perfect metaphor for the holiday season which, of all times of the year, is the most fertile for suicide.

Then, of course, there’s the wretched excess of New Year’s Eve when everyone tries to feign having a much better time than they are really having and so, to make up and cover up and to forget about it, we drink far too much to try and fill that gap between our heart’s desire and our reality. We fret about that perfect date that we do not have. We wish we were kissing someone else as they play that wretched Scot’s poem about old friendships.

And then we stare into the dark of cold winter and another year of the same thing same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was.

Why is Leonard Cohen so lighthearted?

Because we must be led by our hopes and not driven by our fears.

Because we must act as if there were a God despite the radical impossibility there ever was one (Sartre).

Because there is nothing good nor bad but thinking makes it so (Shakespeare).

There’s no reason to face the traffic at the mall nor the crowds of cows that go there. Go to Milissa at Mockingbird Manor and order some handmade jewelry for a one-of-a-kind gift. Go to Suzanne at Paseo for an encaustic and have no problem at all parking and get a work of art instead of a boring sweater. Buy a one of a kind tie from Diane Coady instead of a boring school tie from Foley’s.

Choose one person in your family or among former friends to get right with. Stuff your old crap where the sun don’t shine and polish up your good stuff by going the extra mile to put back together a relationship. Make it your Christmas present to yourself. Enemies are easy, it’s friends that are hard. Your resentments over things that happened when you were a child is you drinking poison hoping they will die. Stop it. Instead, forgive in the same measure as you wish to be forgiven by someone else. Cut the slack you want for yourself.

For me, this is a sobering season — and those of you who know me well know that I’m a recovering alcoholic and sober is precisely the right word. You will not be surprised to know that I’ve been a full bore asshole at times this past year. My end-of-the-year business this year is to clean up some of the messes I’ve made. One part of that process is me forgiving a few people for not realizing that I’m so fabulous that whatever I want and whatever I do is the perfect thing and realizing myself that maybe I haven’t been perfect in every situation every single time. Maybe, gulp, take some responsibility for my behavior.

Despite this, I’ve watched a major relationship go south, precipitously, just this week. Some part of me says, though, that letting go may be the kindest thing I can do. I’m thinking that this may be one of those times when what I want and what is right are two very different things.

How do you make God laugh? Tell Him your plans.

To some of you, I’m not much of a Christian. To me, a Christmas tree is a pagan symbol of the fact that the early Christian Church co-opted the pagan Bacchanalia winter solstice celebration. I do not believe the story of Christ’s virgin birth and the Holy Spirit.

I do believe in the words of Christ. Our lives will become a heaven on earth if we will only avoid judging our fellow humans and instead offer them our love. We must begin that process with ourselves, drop our heinous self-evaluations and remember that we are loveable, if by no one else then by ourselves.

I met a young woman at Galileo’s the other night and I think her name is Heather. She was punk’d in appearance with multicolored hair, tattoos and piercings. I met her because she was at the next table and I heard her start talking about the film “Coffee and Cigarets”, a rather obscure movie, but one of my guilty pleasures. I interrupted, confessing that I’d eavesdropped. I suppose she was 21 years old at least since she was in the bar area, but she was young by my standards, whatever her age. Just a random incident in my random life. Except for one thing: it’s perfectly predictable that I will meet unusual people hanging out, as I do, at the Paseo. In fact, it’s one of the main reasons why it’s my adopted second home. There’s more to it than that, even. There’s also the fact of my life that I’m gregarious. A great many people may have seen that movie and could overhear that conversation and keep to themselves. That’s not how I’m made. It’s also perfectly predictable that I’d speak up. Especially since she was a lovely young woman — Yes, I do know who I am. What is the nature of life? Is it unpredictable and random or is it merely complex?

Ah, this dance of life.

The bottom line for me is that when I try to direct my life, I fuck up. When I simply live with love and openness and passion, good things happen to me. When I insist on my self-importance, I ruin my connectivity. When I simply accept others as beings doing the best they know how to do at the time, I am serene and surrounded by friends.

I had a long conversation last night with someone I love and have loved for a long time now. I hope we got back on track because we’ve been alienated for awhile. One of the principal barriers between us is me. I’m all righteous about it and certain that I was right and she was wrong and, even though we talked in part because I’m determined to overcome my stuff, I still had those feelings. The hard part about it, or one of the hard parts in all events, is that I’m so very nostalgic for my relationship with her. I wish I had that intimacy back. Alas, I don’t think that’s possible. Again, I don’t blame anyone but myself. I just can’t put together the trust necessary for the intimacy I want more than anything. I know. Contradictory and stupid, but there it is. I realized that I would never regain my trust in her (or anyone for that matter) by staying aloof and refusing to be in her presence. It’s still hard. I know that I am doing the right thing by putting aside my doubts and hurts, but that next step to openness is so difficult for me as to be nearly impossible. All that’s required is the slightest change in my own thinking and I’m there, but I’m so very arrogant and self centered that it seems like an impassable chasm. Also the task seems too great for my feeble powers. The old arguments still loom out there in her thinking that’s she’s got no choice and me the same. It’s so sad to be my own observer and see both of us longing and wishing and hoping with such foolish hopes that we will someday be who we want to be rather than who we are. I think both of us would put it back together if we could and … we … just … can’t … quite … get there.

On another front, have I mentioned that I’m Alfie? Inside, I’m the man in the conversation last night who longs for the serenity and security of having only one woman in my life and in whom I can place the ultimate trust to know who I really am. Outside, I’m Alfie. I drive a sports car, dress flashy and flirt with every skirt that passes, flashing a good smile and making a smart remark. I have to own up to the fact that almost everyone regards me as an interesting diversion to a passing woman who is in a certain mood and not much more. I’m not sure why I think that acting the playboy will hook me up with the kind of woman who wants a long term relationship. And, my inner experience is not at all like the outer shell that others seem to observe. Inside, I’m horrible at meeting women and even worse at “closing the deal” because I abhor casual sex and insist on lovemaking rather than fucking. I’ve put myself in a bad place and it’s fair to say that, as a general rule, I’ve sabotaged every important relationship I’ve ever had on the reefs and shoals of sex. Fascinating little riddle, what? I absolutely hate and have no sympathy for Alfie, but that’s who I seem to be.

Just as I suggested y’all avoid the problem of holiday traffic with an alternative strategy, I think I shall do the same this Christmas — avoid the problem. If I am to be alone this Christmas, I will see it as a good thing. A time to take my own measure. A time to enjoy being with the good company of John Long. Whoever I see on New Year’s, they will be the perfect date and the perfect kiss. Or not. I will bear ill will to no one, especially myself. I forgive all tresspasses and beg for forgiveness, no matter how big an asshole I have been. I’m trying to do better and will as soon as I get perfect. Thanks for inquiring, btw, but I’m already being “fixed”. It’s just that it’s a big job and it seems to take a lifetime to get it done.

Merry Christmas, folks.

Resist Bush while we still can.

Post Script: I know this blog entry is confusing and random and scattered, but I started out saying I thought it was a confusing season.

"The Most Corrupt Congress in History"

Associated Press
Updated: 3:17 p.m. ET Dec. 18, 2005

WASHINGTON – Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid called the Republican-led Congress “the most corrupt in history” Sunday, and distanced himself from Jack Abramoff, a powerful lobbyist at the center of an escalating probe.

He would know.

Carthage Must Be Destroyed!

Roman Senator Cicero ended all his speeches by saying “Carthage Must Be Destroyed!”. After Hannibal crossed the Alps, Romans sailed against their commercial rivals, forcing Hannibal, who they could not defeat on the field, back home. Eventually, Rome would conquer Carthage, put all its people in slavery and salt the ground.

We face the same daily menace.

Not from a foreign threat.

Not even from terrorists.

From our own government.

We must resist this government, this fascist administration.

It threatens us and the world.

We are no longer free. Even if we sit in front of our televisions in our own homes, we are captives of cruel and cunning jailers.

President Bush not only admits to making 30 orders to violate the Fourth and Fifth Amendments by requiring the National Security Agency to intercept and monitor American citizens’ cell phone calls overseas without benefit of warrants, but he attacks those who question his decision as irresponsibly aiding and abetting terrorists.

He also warns Congress they must re-enact the Patriot Act, giving him war powers to roust Americans without warrants and lawyers and the possibility of being kidnapped and tortured in a North African dungeon. It is tantamount to the legislation passed in the 1930s by Germany after the phony Reichstag Fire, giving Adollph Hitler the power to be Der Fuerher.

How is Bush any different from Stalin, Pol Pot, Mao, Napoleon, any of the dictators?

He even has a plan for world domination.

We must resist.

While we still can.

Common Sense

Thomas Paine wrote a pamphlet named “Common Sense” that became a “best seller” and helped prompt the American Revolution. He also wrote pamphlets that helped spark the French Revolution.

We need him today.

The news of the past week or two leads me to believe that a new revolution is necessary in our nation.

As Thomas Jefferson wrote, the tree of liberty must at times be watered by the blood of tyrants.

I believe that now is that time.

We learned today that this president authorized the warrantless eavesdropping on American cell phone calls overseas. Thousands of Americans calling overseas were intercepted by the National Security Agency. It is such a blatant violation of the Fourth and Fifth Amendments that several NSA employees refused to participate, despite the secret presidential order.

I wonder if the half British lovely Juliet and her visiting friends Laura and Amber, who made dozens of calls to England with silly girl calls to friends about how much fun it is to be young and beautiful and visiting Los Angeles, were among the calls intercepted.

We also learned this week that the military, the Department of Defense, has spied on thousands of Americans who have protested the Iraqi war. They even infiltrated a Quaker meeting in Florida.

Does this mean that my picture standing along Classen Blvd. in front of Memorial Park with a “Honk for Peace” sign is somewhere in a DOD file? How about Lisa Ghariani and Tara Feurborn? How about our friend Rex Friend the Quaker attorney and former partner of Doug Parr? Are we all headed for a concentration camp that once housed German Nazis in El Reno?

Have you used your credit card this holiday season? American commercial records of credit card use is being “data mined” by our government looking for terrorists. Is your purchase of a sweater for cousin Bill in a government data base? Is it like that silly Mel Gibson movie “Conspiracy Theory” where everyone who buys “Catcher in the Rye” is flagged?

Our libraries are required to allow the government to search their records of books loaned to citizens under the Patriot Act. Been to Oklahoma City’s new library yet?

President Bush now admits that our pre war intelligence on Iraq was wrong, but he takes responsibility for leading us into war for the wrong reasons because deposing Saddam was the right thing to do. What? The ends justify the means? Will he next tell us, as Mussolini did his country, that he’s making the trains run on time? Or, perhaps, as Hitler did, that we must break some eggs to make an omlette? Madness, I tell you, MADNESS!!!

It is now clear beyond dispute that America is running torture chambers, defended by Vice President Cheney, in Eastern Europe and North Africa. We — and I mean you and I through the CIA — kidnap people off the streets of Germany and Italy and take them away and torture them in violation of the Geneva Convention and the American Constitution. This is not a wild charge by some mad foreigner, it is documented truth reported by American and European journalists.

Speaking of journalists, did you know that America is now in the top five of countries who jail journalists? We are tied with Myanmar, the former Burma, a regime that is among the most outlaw of the military juntas in the world, a country and government that is of, by and for heroin dealers in south Asia.

America now incarcerates more of its citizens — over 1,000,000 — than any other country in the world, including Russia and China. Oklahoma, for example, incarcerates more women than any other state in the United States.

Did you realize that it is now legal, under the Patriot Act, for police agencies to “sneek and peek” search your house? They can LEGALLY enter your home when you are gone, search your files and computer and leave without ever telling you. You do not even have the right to know WHY they are interested in you nor what they were looking for.

I would take comfort in my moral superiority should I read that these things were done by Hitler’s Germany or Stalin’s Russia or Mao’s China. I am outraged that I am writing about my own country.

I can’t even blame Bush, really. I blame you and me for allowing Tom DeLay to take illegal corporate cash, laundring it through the Republican National Committee and using it to redistrict Texas so that 5 additional Republicans could be elected to the House of Representatives, giving the GOP control over a branch of government. We just let it happen. You and me. Voters. Americans who haven’t paid enough attention and who lack a capacity for outrage.

We’ve allowed ourselves to be blinded by false issues like abortion and creationism while our basic freedoms have been crushed under a blinding blizzard of seemingly innocent legalistic paper.

I would prefer to overthrow this government by legal means of a free election. I am not so sure that we any longer have free elections in a practical sense. How is it any longer possible for common citizens to raise these issues and inform the electorate when there is so much corrupt corporate cash on the other side? Will Halliburton allow us to upset their billionaire club shell game? I think not.

I believe the time approaches when we must take up arms against a sea of troubles. When the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune require us to inquire whether we will be or not be. When our lives of quiet desperation can no longer be quiet.

Mao famously said that political power grows from the barrel of a gun. All the guns are at present on the other side. We have blogs and posters. When is it right to arm ourselves? I’m not talking about buying a 9 mm. I do not mean for the pupose of personal security, because no amount of shotguns and pistols will protect us from the military might of this repressive government. What I mean is no less than this: at what point is it legitimate for Americans to seek the violent overthrow of their own elected government?

If they come and get me for writing this, how much longer will it be before they come for you? If they do not come for you, when are you no longer free, even if you do sit in your own home in front of your own television?

I am asking you what IS America?

Is America the First Amendment? Do we have Freedom of the Press if we are jailing journalists? Do we have freedom of assembly if you can’t attend a Quaker meeting without being observed by spies? Do we have freedom of religion if the government can put policemen in the examining rooms of gynecologists to keep them from recommending an abortion because of the religious beliefs of a minority that is temporarily in power?

Is America the Second Amendment? Is the freedom to have an armed militia free if all the militia are run by the government? Is it freedom to be armed when the arms you can buy cannot fight the repressive Department of Defense that is monitoring you?

Is America the Fourth Amendment? The right to be free of unreasonable search and siezure absent a judicial warrant is no freedom if they can listen to your cell calls, look in your computer without telling you and track your purchases through your credit cards.

Is America the Eighth Amendment? Sorry about that. We torture, so the freedom from cruel and unusual punishment is now out the window.

Is America the Sixth Amendment? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges. You no longer have the right to an attorney. We can take you to Gitmo and try you without recourse to the courts or representation.

Is America the Fourteenth Amendment? Not if you are Muslim. Your chance for equal treatment under the law is out the window.

Did they tell you in grade school that America would be the kind of country where SuzArt’s 81 year old mother is separated from her walker/cane and strip searched before being allowed on a plane?

When is enough just that: Enough?

What does your common sense tell you?

Getting Out of Iraq

The following article from Slate Magazine looks at three published suggestions about how to slog out of the Iraq quagmire. Yes, I think it’s fair to now call it a “quagmire”. I agree with Kaplan that my ’04 candidate, Gen. Wes Clark, seemed to be a bit muddled in his weekend op-ed piece. I really have not had a chance to closely review the other two plans discussed. I have previously suggested my own plan which I’ll expand on at this time.

I would bargain with the Arab League to send troops to Iraq to provide peacekeeping and security in the Baghdad and Sunni Triangle area. One of the things that’s important to know is that there are far more than religious differences between the Kurds, the Sunni and the Shia. One of the differences is that the Sunni tend to be Arab while the Shiites in the south tend to be Persian, as are the Shia in Iran. Kurds are both ethnically and religiously different from both the Sunni and Shia. Arab League troops would put the Sunni insurgents in the position of not only fighting Islamic troops, but also fighting ethnically similar Arabs from other nations. So far, the Arab League has refused — understandably — to bail out the Bush administration by providing any troops. So, how to get this done? I propose that we bribe them. Yes, bribe them. Arabs are by culture mercantile and very very canny at it. They understand “the deal”. So, let’s make them an offer they can’t refuse. Let’s offer to spend billions, literally, in Palestine for the building of infrastructure for the new Palestinian state. We will publicly offer to build roads, bridges, sewage treatment plants, schools, hospitals, libraries and museums in the West Bank and Gaza in exchange for Arab League troops acting as peacekeepers in an Arab minority area of Iraq. What would it look like if those Arab countries refused? After all these years of trumpeting their approval and support for the Palestinians? They couldn’t refuse. They might bargain about how much we spend and on what and where, but, essentially, we’d have them trapped by their own rhetoric. We would also get a “two-fer” — our troops released from the most difficult area of Iraq AND we could coordinate with the Israeli peace process and actually help reduce terrorism by giving Palestinians jobs and increasing their standard of living and getting Palestinian youths off the stone throwing streets and into jobs where they become entrepeneurial and have a paycheck and something to do besides fight. We’d also build enduring monuments to American respect for Muslims and Palestinians and peace.

Kurdish militia should be sent to the south of Iraq for the purpose of securing the border with Iran. Kurds have been fighting the Persian Shia for, oh, 15,000 years or so and have a stake in keeping the theocracy of Iran from interfering in Iraqi politics. They will do a much better job than American and British troops.

U.N. peacekeepers should be sent to the three areas of Kurdish control (I’m thinking of Mosul, here) that are trouble spots between the Kurds and the Sunnis. It’s something the U.N. can actually do, as they have done in Cyprus, for example.

American troops should provide border patrol along the Jordanian border since the U.S. retains good relations with Jordan’s monarchy.

NO MORE AMERICAN CONTRACTORS, ESPECIALLY HALLIBURTON. Reconstruction should be Iraqi, paid for by Iraqi oil purchasing goods, principally American at bargain prices subsidized by taxpayer dollars here at home. It is the Iraqi economy we must build, not our own.

American troops should be strike force troops held in reserve in remote areas, highly mobile and charged with entering into battles only when absolutely necessary to preserve the general civil order of the country — in other words, to stop the beginnings of civil war while the Iraqi Parliament establishes itself and becomes self governing in a practical and not just “on paper” sense.

Shi’ite militia should be charged with the Syrian border. Again, you have the Shia Persians with good reason to stop the Arab influences of Syrian Arabs.

Iraqi troops should be transported immediately upon enlistment to South America for training by the U.S. trained militaries there and indoctrinated fully before being returned to the Middle East. We’ve spent zillions on training the military in South America and they especially know how to keep populations under control — can you say “death squads” boys and girls? Sure you can.

We can’t change the eons old ethnic struggles of Iraq, but we CAN use those tensions to get the stability we want. In addition, capitalism works, as we well know, and we can use our money in ways that make sense. I’m willing to spend lots of money in order to save American lives. I also have the abiding belief that if we settle down the “Palestinian question”, we have cut the legs out from under all the other terrorist cells and Islamo-fascist movements.

Oh, one last thing: I’d trade some Afghan mujahadeen troops for Iraqi troops, sending Iraqis to Afghanistan to help fight the Taliban and Afghans to Iraq to stop the insurgents. Another “two-fer”.

Anyway, here’s Fred Kaplan’s take on getting out.

How To Withdraw
Three plans for leaving Iraq: Which is best?

    By Fred Kaplan
    Posted Thursday, Dec. 8, 2005, at 6:37 PM ET

Now that some sort of troop withdrawal from Iraq seems in the cards, it’s time to focus on questions of strategy and tactics: How many U.S. troops will leave Iraq and how quickly? Which troops will stay and for how long? What will they do? Where do the departing troops go? How do we pull out without triggering civil war or appearing to surrender?

If President George W. Bush has answers, he’s not saying. It takes a close parsing of his recent “strategy for victory” speeches—supplemented by the more explicit remarks of his secretary of state and others—to realize that they imply the start of a pullout soon after the New Year.

It’s regrettable that Rep. John Murtha, who pushed the withdrawal option to the political center, made his move before Iraq’s Dec. 15 elections. A U.S. pullout would be far more palatable—politically, strategically, and morally—if it at least appeared to come at the request of the new, democratically chosen Iraqi government. The Bush administration may even have been leaning toward that scenario before Murtha spoke up.

But now the issue is out there. So, how do we do it? Withdrawal plans are wafting through the journals and op-ed pages. Let’s look at a few.

Retired Gen. Wesley Clark, who submitted a surprisingly impractical plan for winning (or at least not losing too badly) to the Washington Post this past September, wrote another odd piece for the Dec. 6 New York Times. Clark should know this territory; he led troops in Vietnam, commanded the war over Kosovo, and helped negotiate the peace in Bosnia. Yet his latest piece seems like something scribbled over breakfast.

On the one hand, Clark calls for deploying 20,000 U.S. troops to provide “training, supervision, and backup” along Iraq’s borders, as well as 30,000 troops to step up operations against insurgents. Yet he also recommends drawing down 30,000 troops after Iraq’s elections. Which is it—more troops, fewer troops, both?

His math is merely confusing; his politics are head-spinning. The Iraqi government, he writes, “must begin to enforce the ban on armed militias.” Ideally, he adds, this should be done voluntarily, but “American muscle will have to be made available as a last resort.” Is Clark really proposing that, beyond the already exhausting tasks of securing cities and fighting insurgents, U.S. troops should start battling and disarming the Kurdish peshmerga and Muqtada al-Sadr’s army?

“And,” Clark goes on, “we must start using America’s diplomatic strength with Syria and Iran” to get those two countries to stop interfering in Iraqi affairs. OK. Any suggestions how? Clark seems to think we still control what happens in and around Iraq, when the most basic, unnerving fact about the present phase of our occupation is that we control so very little.

For this reason, the two most thoughtful and persuasive essays on the Iraqi endgame are also the least ambitious and reassuring: James Fallows’ article in the December issue of the Atlantic and Barry Posen’s plan for an exit strategy in the forthcoming January/February Boston Review.

Fallows explains all too clearly why the Iraqi security forces aren’t up to the task of defending or stabilizing the country by themselves and why they won’t be for a long time. But rather than leaving his article as a thoroughly researched piece of journalism, he takes a step out on the plank and asks what we should do about it.

“What is needed for an honorable departure,” he writes, “is, at minimum, a country that will not go to war with itself, and citizens who will not turn to large-scale murder.” If we can manage that goal, he states, we can leave in good conscience, regardless of what might happen a few years down the road.

However, he recognizes that even this goal may be beyond our resolve and resources. It requires a “national army strong enough to deter militias … and loyal enough to the new Iraq to resist becoming the tool of any faction.” It also requires policemen who are “sufficiently competent, brave, and honest to keep civilians safe.”

This can be done, even as we withdraw combat troops, but only if we step up training—building more facilities, recruiting more translators, and changing our military culture so that the trainer of an Iraqi battalion gets more rewards than the commander of an American battalion—and only if we maintain an active presence of U.S. air, logistical, medical, intelligence, and communications forces, and do so “for years.”

Fallows’ capper: The U.S. government should either do all this or “face the stark fact that it has no orderly way out of Iraq.” This is the fallacy of Bush’s “stay the course” policy: It leads nowhere. Fallows insists that we either make the commitment—which doesn’t require ground troops but does require patience, money, and imagination—or pack it in; anything else is a waste.

Barry Posen, a military historian in MIT’s security studies program, goes further than Fallows in some ways and not as far in others. The present course of open-ended occupation, he argues, “infantilizes” Iraqi politics. As long as everyone thinks our troops will stick around, the Iraqi army will never grow up, the Kurds will continue to flirt with secession, the Sunnis will blame their diminished power on our occupation (not on their minority status), and the majority Shiites will rule without seeing a need to make compromises. Only after we start to leave will Iraq’s army take its responsibilities seriously, and only then will the sectarian factions realize the limits of their power and seek reconciliation.

Posen’s five-point plan:

First, make clear we’re withdrawing most U.S. forces within 18 months. Use the time to train and organize an army and police force capable of internal security.

Second, retain—for a longer period—a small contingent of special operations forces to advise the Iraqi army and help with command, control, and intelligence.

Third, maintain an “over-the-horizon” force in the region to deter and defend against an invasion of Iraq’s borders.

Fourth, let everyone know of the continuing U.S. interest in the Persian Gulf and Iraq’s territorial integrity. Don’t just try to persuade Iran and Syria to help out on this score; offer them inducements. For instance, drop the rhetoric about “regime change” and “spreading democracy” in exchange for their cooperation on a stable Iraq.

Fifth, aim for a stalemate in Iraq’s ongoing sectarian conflict, with the ultimate hope of inducing a loose federation—each faction essentially governing itself—within a central government that does little more than divvy up oil revenue.

I’m a bit leery of this last point. Posen has said, in a radio interview and in e-mail correspondence with me, that, once we leave, Iraq’s factions—Shiites, Sunnis, and Kurds—will need to take a true measure of their relative power. This will almost certainly involve some fighting, perhaps even civil war, but he sees this process as a precondition to an enduring political settlement.

He may be right, but civil wars—especially those inflamed by religious rivalry—tend to rage well beyond rational limits. Millions of people could die, in which case little comfort should be derived from a calculation that the combatants will strike some balance of power in the long run.

I emerge from this debate somewhat torn. I agree with Posen’s case for a timed withdrawal. Fallows’ proposal for an open-ended commitment is, by his own admission, unlikely to be followed, and I don’t accept—maybe I don’t want to accept—his notion that the only alternative is sheer chaos. Posen spells out a plan to keep internal turmoil from spilling out into regional warfare, but I think more should be done to dampen the internal conflict as well. A civil war, fought to a stalemate, is not an acceptable outcome, nor do I see how the neighboring powers can be kept out of the fray once it ignites.

One thing is clear: The serious withdrawal plans are not “cut-and-run” jobs. They’re designed, on their own, to promote security and stability. None of them—not even Murtha’s—call for a total U.S. pullout. This isn’t a point in the debate, and the White House shouldn’t be allowed to get away with pretending that it is.

Fred Kaplan writes the “War Stories” column for Slate. He can be reached at [email protected].

Vote Tuesday on 911 Cell Calls

I pass on this email from Marcy about Tuesday’s vote on cell phone 911 calls even though I know not one thing about it.

Hi Friends, there’s a vote on Tuesday to give 911 Operators access to cell phone locations.

I have a very good friend who has been a 911 Operator for over 20 years and I asked her if I should vote yes for this bill. It is her opinion that this is NOT a good idea.

The job of a 911 Operator is intense at best. They field hundreds of calls every day and many of them are erroneous or repetitious and more of them are simply unnecessary. Example, when a car accident happens they receive a cell phone call from everyone who passes by. They receive an abundance of cellular phone calls daily. What this bill would do is simply make this 911 Operator have to call the cellular server to locate the position, and by the time they are able to dispatch an officer to that location….it’s most likely that the person would be 15 miles down the road from the location that was pinpointed. My friend cited several other problems in addition that I won’t go into here. But made me realize that not only would this bill make her life hell, but also take valuable time away from real distress calls. Tho it is good in theory, it won’t work in application.

I don’t know if I’m explaining all of this very clearly. But I wanted to make you aware that 911 Operators do not see this bill as something that will aid them in their jobs to help those in distress calling for help. Please send this on, so that maybe we can stop this bill from passing on Tuesday.

Thanks,
Marcy

New Blog to Watch

Here’s an email I received from Kat with a K’s mom, who is starting a new blog. She’s made her first entry and is getting started. It’s not as easy a thing as it sounds putting yourself out here, so go see and be kind.

Am sending you the link for my blog. Not sure I will keep it up, but
thought I would give it a whirl. Mostly I am doing it in an attempt to
keep my writing skills (for what that is worth) up and running. Let me
know what you think good or bad.
Love,
(Kat with a K’s Mom)

http://diatribe101.blogspot.com/

Poor Tall Ed

Tall Ed was so very pathetic Saturday night. If you have to call and beg for an invitation to a party, as Tall Ed did, it’s just sad. As soon as he found out at the Trinkets and Baubles show at the Red Cup that I was headed to Baker St. for a party with the lovely Juliet and the Elastic Cafe crowd (by overhearing a conversation between me and The Gary) he was on the phone to Juliet asking for an invitation. Oh, I know what it’s like to feel pity for someone who protests so loudly and so long that they are cool (never a cool move). And, certainly there are women who are still willing to kiss Kermit, hoping for a prince, only to find Tall Ed is, well, Tall Ed. It’s sad, it really is. I know how hard it is to imagine that a man of his age would still be comparing penis size with all and sundry, just as if he were still 12 years old, but that’s Tall Ed. He even proposed a “contest” between us out loud and in front of people at VZDs the other night. Oh. My. God. I was shocked and amazed by such crass and juvenile behavior, but I really think he just doesn’t “get it” — and I mean both that he doesn’t understand how idiotic that sounded and that he doesn’t seem to “get it” from the women he tries to womanize. How else to explain such behavior?

Ah, well. If you are or have been or expect to be a woman in my life, you can apparently expect Tall Ed to come sniffing around hoping to compete with me. If you’re cool enough to be in that category, you may also have a problem knowing what to do with Tall Ed when he clumsily follows up. So, here’s some help from dating experts about what to do when that happens:

‘Stop hitting on me!’
By Matt Christensen

Facing some unwanted attention? We canvassed single people like you — and dating experts — for their strategies on how to dodge those advances. Plus: 3 signs someone is trying to give you the slip.

So you’re at a bar or party and someone has taken a shine to you. Unfortunately, the feeling isn’t mutual and you want to quickly end the exchange. What to do? Sometimes the truth (“I’m not interested”) is too harsh. Listen in as experts share their advice… and as single people like you reveal the more original ways they’ve given people the slip when conventional methods don’t work. (Caution: Some of these earn points for creativity, not kindness.)

Our panel of expert advisors suggest the following:

Bring things to a quick close. Wait for a tiny break in the banter and then say, “Well, it’s been fun chatting. Please excuse me but I think I see my friend. Have a great night.” Then walk off purposefully to another area out of view. Yes, it’s abrupt, but it gets you out of there. You really don’t need an elaborate excuse.

Introduce him or her to a friend or an acquaintance—then quickly slip away. Granted, it may seem underhanded to pawn off your unwanted goods onto a pal, but who knows? You know the saying: One person’s blow-off, another’s budding relationship…

Say you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s the oldest trick in the book, but there’s a reason it’s withstood the test of time: It’s totally plausible and therefore lets your suitor down easy. Worried that news of your phantom squeeze will deter someone you have your eye on? Don’t worry, news rarely travels that quickly. And even if it does, anyone you flirt up a storm with will take it with a grain of salt.

Grab your cell phone and say, “I totally forgot, I was supposed to call a friend of mine and tell her where the bar/club/party is. Can you excuse me for a sec?” Then you can just drift away and begin circulating again in a minute or so.

How other singles give people the slip

We’re not saying you should try these moves exactly, but they sure do win points for originality…

The undercover cop excuse

“This girl kept hitting on me at a club one time. I wasn’t interested in her, but I didn’t want to be rude. So, I told her I was an undercover cop, and that I had to concentrate on looking for people breaking the law. When she asked to see my badge, I told her that I didn’t want to blow my cover. She persisted, so I told her that if she didn’t leave me alone, I’d have to cite her for obstruction of justice. It worked, and she high-tailed it outta there.” —John South

One sick scheme

“One time I was at a bar and a girl wouldn’t leave me alone. To drive her away, I told her that I had mono, and that she might catch it. She’d been hitting on me all night, but that was enough to get her to stop. I wound up trying to talk to another girl at the bar who asked me, ‘Aren’t you the guy who has mono?’ Turns out the first girl had spilled the beans about my excuse to some other girls. Serves me right, I guess.” —Chris LaFleur

Touchdown!

“Two of my friends had to run interference for me at a party when this girl just wouldn’t leave me alone. It was like we were diagramming a football play: The plan was, my one friend would walk by and get her attention, then my other friend would pretend to be drunk and stumble into her from behind and they would keep her occupied until I was out the door. It worked like a charm. Thank you, NFL.” —Luke Somerville

Pet tricks

“A girl came up to me at a party once; she was cute, but all she talked about was herself, so I wanted to bail. I shuffled around in my pocket and made my phone go off by pressing the “ringer choice” button. Then I picked it up and said, loud enough for her to hear me, ‘My parrot escaped?’ I told her that my roommate called and that there was an emergency at home. I think she was too dumbfounded to argue, which gave me enough time to get out of there.” —Johnny Sember

You snooze, you lose (your suitor, that is)

“A guy started to make a move on me at a bar, but after talking to him for about five minutes, I knew it was going nowhere. So, I pretended to fall asleep for a few seconds. When I ‘woke up’ I explained to him that I was just so tired and had had such a hard week. I’m not sure if he bought it, but after another few ‘quick naps,’ he moved on.” —Jane Dryer

    (Tall Ed! Pay Attention! This part is for YOU!!!)

3 signs someone’s trying to avoid you

Be a more aware dater: Understand the clues that someone just isn’t that into you by heeding these signals.

The person you’re chatting up uses the word “but.” For example: “I’d love to dance, but I’ve got two left feet.” “I appreciate your offer for a drink, but I’m feeling under the weather.” “I’d love to hang, but my friends and I might leave soon.” Never take “but” statements at face value. If this person is interested in you, he or she will dance, drink, and stay for awhile—no ifs, ands, or buts.

The object of your affection doesn’t maintain eye contact. Even if this person is yakking up a storm with you and laughing at all your jokes—if the eyes are elsewhere, the mind is, too (most likely trying to figure out how to get unglued from you, sorry to say).

He or she will answer your questions—but not make inquiries into your own life. Few people will be so rude as to ignore a question asked of them, but if they’re not returning the volley with “so what about you?” or “what do you think?” that’s because they want to cut the conversation short rather than keep it rolling. Stop wasting your breath and head to greener pastures.

Matt Christensen writes for Maxim, among other publications.

Cultural observations

Today is the 25th anniversary of the murder of John Lennon. My my, but it seems like only yesterday that he’d been dead 10 years. It’s an excuse to listen to my Beatles “1” CD and to renew my hatred for yoko for breaking up the band, I guess, but I’m awfully busy hating Bush nowadays and I don’t know exactly when I can work in Yoko. Maybe I can work it in between being worried about R.E.M. losing its religion and my angst over whether the rest of U2 is OK with starvation in Africa. I’m also devastated about the rumors that Brittany Spears’ marriage is breaking up. I may just bury my head in meaningless sex if I can ever get out of the damn house.

Talked awhile to SuzArt on the phone last night and she gave me an abbreviated report on Bob O and he must be OK. I feel badly that I haven’t checked on him myself, but all he needs is this cold I’m carrying.

I have my central heat going, both my bathroom heaters going and a fire in the fireplace and I’m still cold. I’ve been running the dishwasher and the clothes washer and making hot tea to try and get some humidity in the air, but I’m still cold. The thermostat says it’s 70 degrees in here, but even with sweats and a bathrobe, I am freakin’ freezing. My hands and feet and nose are cold. I thought about exercising to get my blood moving, but naaahhh. What I really want to do is to go sit on the equator and have beautiful native girls feed me fruit and bring me spleeves the size of baby’s arms. Too bad there’s no money in that, or i’d have a career. In the alternative, I’d be happy to snuggle up to some Oklahoma woman to get that body heat stuff going and that would help with my whole meaningless sex diversion idea, but that doesn’t seem to be in prospect any more than a trip to the equator. So, I’m just freakin’ cold and I’m still mad at those of you who bitched about the summer weather. Not only is the top up on the Miata, but I don’t feel that it’s smart for me to get out in such a small car when any jerk who hits me is going to have a bigger vehicle. Ban SUVs!!!!

I believe I now hold the North American record for blowing my nose the most often in the shortest span of time. I’ve used up three hankies and two rolls of toilet paper in the past two days. Does anyone know the world record?

Egad, but NPR can get tedious! They try so hard to be dispassionate about highly emotional issues that it just gets … well,…boring.

Enough blogging. I’m going to run up and down the hallway with scizzors and put small objects in my ears and nose. I’ll let you know how that works out for me.