Tonight on the paseo, in front of several witnesses, Larry P once again refused all comment for purposes of this blog. The elusive newsmaker was mysteriously missing his gorgeous blonde companion. He was drinking heavily as evidenced by the large number of straws and citrus slices on his table. Whatever cheap booze he was swilling, sources close to Larry P described the clear liquid as capable of taking the paint off a car. When will this famous newsmaker come clean with the American public?

Larry P’s equally closemouthed associate, the privacy shattered Sharon, was supposedly out of town on business and unavailable for comment. Just a coincidence?

Meanwhile, the always controversial SuzArt is reported to be in contact with literary agents concerning a book she’s allegedly writing. Local characters are suspected to be involved in the possible tome. Is there a conspiracy against Blogblah!!! and its writers between the press-gagged pair and the fiery redhead? Stay tuned.

In related news, the blue jeans clad Kat with a “K” actually served coffee to my hero, Michael Hoffner, sometime this morning at the redoubtable Red Cup while The Gary looked on. Suspiciously, a certain local artist whose name is not Brent sat next to MH on a couch and the two conferred privately. Matt, ever sensitive to such things, smelled out a conspiracy to illegally place an Indian casino in Guthrie, complete with “cathouse” upstairs, while a taxi driver blithely pitched Irish Catholic woo to a young woman.

Will our troubles never end?

Button cooked up platters for a prominent family in her best Martha Stewart style, complete with these celery snacks filled with dates and nuts and cream cheese and other yummy things. So domestic after such a slatternly display of flesh in a hidden-away nightspot over the weekend that the change makes the mind addled.

In other news, Bob O, rider of not one, not two, but three, count ‘em three, scooters, showed up today on his smallest Hardly Davison, repleat in his black leather jacket with mucho zippers. His keychain makes female orgasm noises? Yes, that’s right fans. His keychain makes the sound of a woman’s voice imitating a woman having an orgasm. How cool is that?

change of tone here. No snarky smirk in the voice for this paragraph Saw Mom today and she seemed in good health, good spirits and once again displayed a very sound mind. Thank God for the health of my mother. I could not be more happy to see her out and about and involved in community and personal matters.

I’ll be honest enough to admit that I feel vindicated, smug and gloating over the indictments coming down against the White House, the administration and GOP congressional leaders. Remember when W promised in 2000 to “restore integrity” to the White House? Fuckers.

IT’S NOW OFFICIAL: Yours truely has been named translator for Danny Lay. Thank you, I’m not worthy … no, really… folks, just calm down and take your seats …

The Gary has had a death in his family and he was bummed. Sorry, guy. You know we got your back, son.

Kat’s Mom said she was cleaning out rooms to remodel at her house and turned up Claude Anderson’s obituary. Oddly, the discussion today also included SuzArt’s quest for funeral songs and Peter’s harmonica work at Claude’s and other funerals, with Peter himself giving the artist’s P.O.V. .

Craig the bartender almost lost his “man card” for having the top up on his Celtics green MG, but bought off the procter with a sparkling fruit beverage.

Higgins was debonaire deluxe in his beret and company jacket and recounted a story about his first use of a fiberglass vaulting pole.

Hold up your fingers in a “V” and shout “Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!”, ’cause it’s the good old days back again.

Didn’t blog this weekend and I apologize to both of you who read this blog. Sorry, Mom. Sorry, daughter.

What kept me away from the keyboard, you may ask. Hmmm. A gentleman never kisses and tells.

Friday, went to JRB at the Elms to see the Function as Art show Joy Reed Belt put on. As usual, it was a lovely time with champagne and munchies and a very laid back and comfortable crowd of people. I went with my usual crowd of The Gary, Oz and Deb, SuzArt, etc. As I predicted. I really liked Diane Cody’s silk. I had no way of knowing how much I would like a good deal of the other, all three dimensional, works. Michi Susan’s pottery, Brooks Tower’s mosaic, some of the other artists’ sculptural work and especially tableware, all were worthy of anyone’s good notice. Original and beautiful work of ceramic, metal and wood all attracted me beyond my pocketbook. If you did not go see this show, you must do so if you have any love for beauty.

I tried to make a show that featured Pseudodance and Nicole Moan’s ceramic bustiers at 8th and Broadway over the weekend, but by the time I got there, it was over. I will say that Elastic Cafe’s models made the Moan work look good and vice versa. Jennifer, you ROCK!!!

Other than that, I mostly stayed in my home over the weekend. The cool weather and my warm hearth combined to keep me away from the SuzArt and Button Edgemere garage sale, to my everlasting regret, but I didn’t set foot out of the house the whole of Saturday except for the 10 steps out my door to check the weekend mail and I scurried back inside in my cold sock feet.

Didn’t watch the World Series and have no idea what happened. I really didn’t even answer my phone or check my email. I watched a movie, “Layer Cake”, with the new James Bond in the lead role and now I’m overdue on returning the rented DVD. I liked the movie and thought the actor will make a good Bond; he reminds me a good deal of a British Steve McQueen.

I suspect most of you don’t want to hear about how I cleaned the house and put away a box full of Frankhoma dishes that match my dinner plates, etc. I seem to have needed the “downtime” and to just relax and listen to music and otherwise be quiet.

The other big deal for me this past weekend was family. My sister and brother in law were in town with their friend, Kevin. Also here were my Uncle Jim and Aunt Dot from Mississippi. Kerry, my brother in law, and Uncle Jim tried to play a round of golf at Oak Tree, but it took them an hour and a half to get from my Mom’s house in Heritage Hills up to the course because they got lost. They were so lost that when they got to the course, they went to the pro course instead of the East course and even got lost in the parking lot when they picked up their cart. This made for a good deal of back and forth hilarity from two of the funniest men on the planet. Their earlier foray to Hefner was more successful, I must add, and, to hear them tell it, it was Kerry with the better round at Hefner and Jim the better at Oak Tree. The story about the 70 foot put for birdie was a little on the unbelievable side, but who am I to question such a thing?

Speaking of family, my sister from the East Coast says I never mention her. My baby sister is Mary E. and she is absolutely a doll. Spoiled as hell, of course, but what would one expect from a gorgeous woman who was raised as the baby? I recall quite clearly that my first alone in the car not a double date but a real date to go to the drive in was chaperoned by Mary E. She just whined and cried and threw such a hissy fit that my date and my mother made me take her along. Talk about ruined plans!!! She turned out quite nicely, despite her beginnings. Some day, you may all read here the five rules I’ve learned from her about dating. Hell, why not now?

FIVE RULES FOR DIVORCED WOMEN

1. Make the first date coffee or lunch so you can escape — never never go to dinner before finding out if you can tolerate him for more than an hour.

2. Watch how he treats his mother; he won’t treat you better than he treats her.

3. If his finances are messed up, his life is messed up.

4. A man wants most what he thinks he won’t get, so say “no” at least once.

5. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A DIAMOND TOO BIG OR TOO GAUDY!!!

Th-Th-That’s All Folks! Elvis has left the building.

and maybe the iceman will come as well…considering that cold north wind…but the top stays down on the Miata as long as the sun shines…

Missed the Thursday night rooftop crowd in favor of a cut and style of the mop I’d grown over the past two months while awaiting the approval of the lovely Juliet. Of course, now the photog, Charles, isn’t coming for two more weeks and I could have had a haircut a month ago and achieved the same thing…comes from always thinking you know more than you do about what’s going to happen in the future…

My aunt and uncle, sister, brother-in-law and California friend are all in town, so I’ll be having dinner tonight at Mom’s. A real waste on a Friday night of the Armani suit I’m wearing (thanks, Doug!!!).

Had a spot of lunchtime with a gaggle of Juliet’s girls at Kamp’s, but I had to leave when I had very little to add to the discussion of breasts. I had lots I could have said about breasts, but not a word that had a chance of being heard in that particular crowd. At least, not being heard without getting me into more trouble than I could handle with four women at once. All eight at the table were quite nice, if that means anything.

Stopped by Roccoco last night for a spot of the bubbly with the Oz and Deb. Good jazz and good crowd on Thursdays. If you haven’t dropped in lately, I recommend that you do. Tell Eric he’s the best bartender in town because he might well be.

Hope to catch the show this evening at JRB Gallery at the Elms at 28th and Walker. It’s Function as Art, showing a great many objects d’art that are also functional as clothes, pottery, etc., by about a dozen artists. I already know I like the stuff by Diane Cody — I buy ties from her so that I won’t see every other lawyer in town wearing the same blue and red striped p.o.s. I’ve got on.

Saw The Gary this a.m. holding court at the Red Cup. I ‘spect he’ll be carting his mom from pillar to post this p.m. DeShan was wasting her time with Randy S. instead of paying attention to me, dammit, and she looked fine, fine, fine in her grey, long skirt. Good luck on that bin 73 gig, girlfriend. Kat with a “K” was behind the counter serving up hot coffee at a frantic pace and looking good in a red dress she’d creatively left unbuttoned; funny, but she buttoned right up just when I came through the door. Think that’s a hint? Just coincidence, surely.

Button, button, who’s got the button? She told me she wanted a Christmas tree ornament shaped like a tractor, of all things. I thought she was out of her everloving blonde mind. Nope. While I was wandering around waiting for my hair to be cut, I dropped into one of those temporary Christmas stores at Quail Springs Mall and what should appear but tractor shaped Christmas ornaments. So, today was Christmas on Western for The Button. Happy holidays, darlin’.

I’m really confused about what’s going to happen over the next couple of weeks, but right now I really need to get to work and get cracking on some stuff that has a short fuse, so…

Th-Th-That’s All Folks! Elvis has left the building

This is another day in which the blog has to take a back seat to other obligations.

My Uncle Jim and Aunt Dot from Mississippi are in town and my sister, brother-in-law and a friend of theirs will be here before I can save this blog entry. I look forward to seeing all those folks. My Uncle Jim is, next to my son, the most funny man I know and my sister Jaime is likewise blessed with a life filled with laughter. They are all pleasant companions. I can never think of Jim and Dot without recalling their wedding decades ago when I was but a lad; Dot, red hair blazing, was the most beautiful bride I can recall ever seeing. What she sees in my Uncle Jim will forever be a mystery, but it must be something because they’ve raised kids and worked in the Laurel, MS, school system together for so many decades that it goes back before the mind of man remembereth not.

On a very personal note, I get my hair cut tonight. I’ve been waiting for two months on this hair cut at the behest of the lovely Juliet of Elastic Cafe in order to have my photo taken this weekend. The plan, however, turns out to be flawed: Charles, the preferred photographer, will not be coming in from Los Angeles as planned. A couple dozen of us wannabe models, hairstylists and others are left high and dry.

Last night was the regularly scheduled Paseo dinner and movie night. About a dozen of us went to a lovely rib dinner at Iron Starr on 36th and Shartel. A full room of folks came over to my house and watched Andy Garcia portray the title role in “Modigliani”, thanks to Babs. A really wonderful biopic of the artist, in my opinion.

Due to the family being in town and the haircut appointment, all you folks who expect to see me on the roof at the art museum will just have to be disappointed. It’s a little cool to be up on the roof tonight anyway.

Saw Larry P at coffee this a.m. He says he’ll join the privacy shattered Sharon in refusing to speak around me for fear of seeing his name and words in print on this blog. Meanwhile, he was at Iron Starr last night with the delectible R, his new squeeze. In fact, the women in his life were all over the restaurant last night and I think he’s trying to accumulate the kind of gaggle of “X”s I have. Stick with the one you’ve got, Larry, since lovely blondes who cook aren’t all that common.

Students and teachers who have this weekend off for fall break are filling up the restaurants and bars around town, making it difficult for me to get the tables I want when I want them. Boo!!!! Go Away!!!! Scram!!!! LOL

The Oz and Bride are out of town today on a trip to Ft. Worth to see a show of a contemporary artist I don’t know. Someone whose name starts with “K”, I think. If they come back with a good report, I may follow them down there later this month. My trip to Tulsa last weekend just whetted my appetite for travel and the cool weather and the prospect of fall foilage is piling fuel on that fire. I think son Jack is going to have to go down to New Orleans to pick up some of his abandoned stuff in the next couple of weeks and I’d like to go to see what the deal is in the Katrina ravaged Big Easy. How bad can things be if Cafe DuMonde is reopened?

PLEASE TAKE NOTICE OF THE CHANGES IN THE BLOG

I keep hoping someone will notice that the blogblah!! banner has changed. Dennis the webmaster did a wonderful job re-working the banner to include a shot of my sunglasses and blahblahblah. Much more cool than the plain blue banner that was there before. Kudos, Den! I’ve been working on improvements as well, since you didn’t ask: new short stories and new cool links have been added. Damn. I keep building it, but y’all don’t come. You ain’t even breathing hard. Hey, Dad, wanna play some catch?

Th-Th-That’s All, Folks!

Had a good time in T-Town this weekend.

Drove up in liesurely fashion with the top down and not caring how windblown I’d look upon arrival. The weather was beautiful and I was astonished at how green the state remains this late in the year. Very little in the way of fall foilage, just balmy temps and white fleck clouds on a blue sky.

Stayed on the 16th floor of the DoubleTree Hotel downtown, view of the Arkansas River and the most comfortable bed you can imagine. Damn the expense! It was nice to get out of the jurisdiction and worth every penny that I don’t actually have.

Went up for Tulsa Community College’s Bare Bones film festival and workships. Hung out with the Elastic Cafe crowd and they just about swept the board. Greg Burns was the handsdown winner in best actor category and won a role in an indie film. Of the 12 finalists in the model competition, 7 came from Elastic Cafe agency.

Spent the downtime in the Brookside area. We had coffee at “shades of brown” and wine at “The Grapevine.”

After 11 p.m., Suede was cheek to jowel with hot women in dancing frenzy. Oh My God! Bet there were three or four hot women dancing for every posturing peacock. I’m more of a hold-‘em-close slow dance on the killing field kinda guy, but I had my fun and shook the aging booty because the DJ wasn’t playin’ that shit.

Didn’t get back to the good old OKC until late this afternoon and I’ve been running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off since, so …

Th-Th-That’s All Folks! I’m OUT! Elvis has left the building! No, really, guys…I’m done…that’s it…