Mary Beth is back home in Memphis, albeit not as timely as she had hoped. Her plans were to leave OKC all packed by noon and get to Memphis about 7 p.m. Sunday. She didn’t leave until 4 p.m. and only made it to Russellville, Ark., before having to stop. All’s well that ends well and she’s safely ensconsed in her new home according to the email note I got today.

I don’t have the vocabulary to communicate my feelings about seeing her this weekend, even were I to write 100,000 words. She may have said it best when she wrote that she still loves me and doesn’t seem to have any choice in the matter. MB, I feel absolutely the exact same way.

Meanwhile, I’ve had a series of acrimonious emails from another woman from my past that went on over the weekend. So sad. I know for certain that I still love this woman and that she has very strong feelings of affection for me. She tells people she loves me, and I believe it. Nevertheless, we can’t seem to get along. Part of the answer to that riddle is fear. We’re afraid of each other in some way(s), I think, and that makes us lash out. Let me back up and little and not try to speak for her. I’m afraid of her and the least little thing can set me off. When you add to that the lack of emotional communication by written word and my propensity for vivid language, the chances of acrimony increase exponentially. I believe there must be something of that going on with her as well. I wrote something in the blog with nothing but fondness and she read something entirely different, even quoting me as saying something that was no where in the text. An extremely similar situation led to our breakup — I wrote an email with one intent and she read abusive intent into my words and broke it off with me. Again, 100,000 words can’t express my feelings of sadness, frustration, hurt and unrequited love. The relationship is Humpty Dumpty now. Neither of us, I sadly admit to myself, will ever have the trust to get anywhere near where we once were. I think it’s hopeless to even think that we’ll be able to put Humpty back together again, not even with the help of all the King’s horses and all the Queen’s men.

I was also supposed to see the pseudonymical Erika West this weekend, but that didn’t work out. Her busy schedule and a new automobile trumped my getting to visit and looks like it will be a barrier again this week. The course of true love is never smooth, they say.

In a sense, none of that matters. I’ve been so crazy about the lovely Juliet lately that I don’t know that I have time for anything else. Sometime I’ll write at length about my lifelong quest for the perfect kiss, but let me just say at this point that the lovely Juliet has some special magic about the way she kisses. I feel sorry for anyone who has never been kissed in the way I’ve been kissed by Juliet. It’s worth anything and everything. VERY VERY VERY special.

One more “former” to mention…a certain antiques dealer looked so killer yesterday in white pants and kinky high heels that I just about couldn’t stand it. I’ve vowed to be as emotionally, romantically and sexually unavailable to her as she is to me, but vows can’t stand up to hormones, it seems, or that they can, but just barely. VA VA VOOM!!! She’s been dieting or working out or something and looks so skinny and … better just leave it at VA VA VOOM.