Overheard at an AA meeting:

“I’ve spent my life believing that if you love me, you don’t love me enough, and if you criticise me, you have gone too far.”

I certainly seem to operate like that, but I never heard it expressed in this way — the way that makes it sound as selfish and self centered as it really is.

It’s part of the reason another friend of mine says we shouldn’t call it AA, we should call it “Grow Up”.

On the other hand, I’m starting to feel homogenized and, well, like pasteurized processed cheese food product.

Therapy.

12 Step.

Church of What’s Happening Now, starring Robin Meyers.

Self Help Books

Workbooks

Introspection

Journaling

Blogging

Maudlin, self-involved poetry

Mostly, I don’t want to be noticed while I occupy the limelight.

I want it to be OK — WITH ME — to be pretty good while still flawed.

I’m ready to graduate or whatever. Just live and not go to AA meetings or to see Jolly Dr. Max or to have angst about missing Mom’s birthday nor to have all my ego tied up in my relationship to some girlfriend/lover/fantasy.

I want this wind to die down. It’s making me edgy.

It’s another full moon and I’m in Cancerian/Moon Child high alert.

Life is struggle. I’m going to go embrace that.

P.S. MCARP!!! Put on some socks.