Now he’s gone and done it.

Didn’t write about sex at all.

He wrote about love.

The bastard.

Did you know the idea of romantic love is relatively recent? There wasn’t such a thing for the first 150,000 years of human civilisation, it’s only been since the damn French and Italian Renaissance bastards thought it up that it entered popular culture, a mere couple hundred years ago.

Soulmates? Damn, kids. 6 billion people on earth. If you got a soulmate, their name is Chin and they live in Beijing or they are part of the teeming poor of India. No chance whatsoever you’ll find your soulmate in Northwest Oklahoma City. Fuhgettaboutit.

Ask any good shrink. Love is just you projecting your crap on someone else. That’s it. Oh, and a little lust de jour, of course.

Yeah, I know.

I watch movies, too.

Grand and passionate loves at first sight (or, at least within an hour and a half movie).

Crap.

Do you also think there are androids that look like the California Governor walking around trying to terminate people from the past?

Yeah, enough people in enough couplings and maybe every once in awhile, two of them really really hit it off and have a great and lifelong relationship. What makes you think that MUST happen for everyone?

Helluvalot easier for there to be lifelong loves, by the way, when people hooked up at 16 and died at 40, which was the way things pretty much went until World War II and lifespans started getting attenuated to 75.

Of course, all that cynical stuff about romantic love is for the benefit of you guys.

Me, personally, I happen to know for a certain fact that a soulmate is right around the corner for me and that I’m one of the special ones who will find just the right woman to last the rest of my days.

The rest of you, stop being silly.