Just got back from a noon AA meeting. I love the Monday noon meeting. It’s called “There is a solution” and it’s THE meeting that helped me sober up.

I don’t always talk about being a recovering alcoholic. It’s my problem and not yours and I figure most of you will be bored by my stuff in that area of my life.

Anyway, during the meeting, someone talked about quitting drinking forever and having to change playmates and playgrounds.

It’s very typical talk for the Monday meeting since that meeting is often filled with people who don’t have much time in the program. Also, the really sick fucks like me.

Anyway, I get asked at times about how long I’ve been sober and how can I do like I did Saturday night and go to bars, maybe even a bunch of bars, where people are drinking and at least some people are drinking hard.

Well, I’ve got to admit that I’ve had it much easier than most folks who have a drinking problem. I “got it” pretty early on.

One of the things I “got” was that there was no need for me to think about quitting forever and not even quitting for the 11 years I’ve quit. If I had ever tried to quit forever or for a stated long period of time, I’m not so sure I could have stayed sober.

I just try to not drink right now.

Sure, I still have the thought come to me that a cold beer would taste really good or that some red wine would top off this Italian dinner or that a flute of champagne with a strawberry floating in it looks very tasty.

I do a kind of Mike Carpenter Zen thing. I have the thought and let it evaporate and go away.

I just don’t have that drink right now. I’ll have a drink tomorrow or the next day or some other time if I still have that craving. Right now, I just think I’ll pass.

After all, the last time I had a drink I went off to kill myself because I just couldn’t stand the thought of living even one more day like I’d been living: waking up to a hangover, drinking coffee, smoking cigarets and taking aspirin in the shower, hating every single moment of my life, refusing to leave the house, go to work, answer the phone or even coming to the door if you knocked on it. Drinking left me with nothing but remorse and self loathing.

And, I learned that it wasn’t the fifth or eighth drink that got me drunk, it was that first one. It wasn’t the caboose that was killing me, it was the locomotive.

Eventually, I understood that I would stay sober because of what was going on in my own head and in my own heart. If my sobriety depended on what was going on around me, I would always find a reason to drink. So, if you’re around me and you are drinking, that’s fine with me. It doesn’t make me want to drink. It’s like I’m allergic to strawberries and they give me hives. No matter how many people around me are eating strawberries, I’d still get hives if I ate one. So, I don’t eat strawberries, even if it’s strawberry festival.

Therefore, March 17 will come around and “everyone” will be drinking green beer on St. Pat’s Day. Not me. I’ve puked green beer and been puked on. Been there, done that and no thanks.

Drinking isn’t any fun for me anymore. It’s dreadful. It’s death in a glass.

No longer do I wish that I could “drink like a gentleman”. I wasn’t much of a gentleman when I drank.

Quitting drinking was the smartest decision I ever made.

I hope that when you are drinking, it’s good for your palate and that the red wine is good for your heart health and your mental health. That’s as it should be.

Even the best medicines have side effects and bad results for a small part of the population given the medicine. I just happen to be one of the ones that has a bad side effect from alcohol.

I can’t begin to tell you how much better my life is without drinking. Even when I have problems — and I’ve been through the death of my father and a divorce from my wife of 30 years while sober — those problems are better and my bad times are better than when I was drinking and couldn’t get out of bed and into the office.

Everything I have today, including my law office and wardrobe and car and house and the best circle of friends any man could wish for, everything I have today flows from my sobriety. I would not have all that if I were not sober. I would likely have completed my wish to die and be dead, but even alive, I would be in hell.

Thank you God and Thank you to AA.

Peace.