Here’s something I’ve learned, even if I can’t always put it into practice.

It’s a mistake to compare your insides to another’s outside.

We look at people we know and think we know what their life is like. Sometimes we envy their life and sometimes we feel sorry for them and other times we make other judgments about them.

We compare what we think about their life AS WE SEE IT — which means we’re not seeing what they are like in private — and compare that slice of their life to how we feel about ourselves.

Some people look at my life and they think they would be so happy if they could trade places. I’ve got great things going for me that everyone sees: house, car, clothes, law degree. Man, that John Long, he sure is lucky. It would sure be great if I could have HIS life instead of my boring old life.

It doesn’t work that way.

If you read this blog, you know that I struggle with alcoholism, depression, relationship problems, morals, ethics, boredom at work.

Life isn’t perfect for me. Sometimes, I get depressed and want to run away or kill myself. Hasn’t happened lately, but it’s happened.

If you’ve never been clinically depressed and suicidal, it’s hard to explain how painful that is. It’s a dark, gray fog that covers everything and seeps into every thought.

Trust me. If your problems can be fixed with a little cash, you don’t want to trade problems with me.

You don’t see the times when I’m raking myself over the coals in fits of self loathing. You don’t know my frustrations and tears.

Maybe you think you’d like to be some kind of convertible driving playboy and think that’s what my life is like.

It isn’t.

Not at all.

More to the point, you wouldn’t like that life nearly as much as you think.

The playboy’s life is better as your fantasy than it is in real life.

In real life, one woman with whom you have a great connection and can talk to and laugh with is the much better choice.

Less drama, more emotional fulfillment and, trust me on this, better sex as well.

One night stands and short term flings sound great, but for me personally, I find them dreadful and avoid them at all costs.

It goes the other way as well.

You might look at someone and think their life is terrible. In your superior stance, maybe you feel sorry for them, pity them.

If, however, you had a chance to be inside them, you might find they are exactly the way God intends them to be and they are perfectly happy without your big screen toys and camera cell phone.

Maybe you think you’d kill yourself before you slept with that pig they are paired with. Inside, they may love that person beyond all reason because of other qualities like kindness and thoughtfulness.

So, let’s make a deal, dear readers. I won’t assume I know what your life is like and you don’t assume you know everything you need to know to judge my life.

Someone will always be better off and someone else will always be worse off. If you focus on that, you’ll always be unhappy.

If you are unhappy with your life, don’t envy mine; instead, do something to make your own life more like you’d like it to be.

And, don’t pity me because I’m making a different decision than you would make — maybe it’s the decision I really believe will make my life better in ways you don’t imagine.

That way, we can both enjoy our own lives and love each other for who we are and not who we might, could, should be.

That’s my rant for today, sparked off by a discussion last night of the movie “Lost Highway”.

TTFN