From Our Science Editor, Dr. M. Higgonator:

A major research institute has just announced the discovery of the densest
element yet known to science. The new element has been named “Bushcronium”.

Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and
224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These
particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. The
symbol for Bushcronium is “W”.

Bushcronium’s mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact
with various other elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy
neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming isodopes. This characteristic of
moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed
whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical
quantity is referred to as “Critical Morass”.

When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element that
radiates orders of amplified energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it
has half as many peons, but twice as many morons.