Hey Daddy, I thought I’d send this particular blog entry of mine. The
subject seems to contain two themes in your life – love and money. LOL. Of
course the links to Eegee’s didn’t copy over, nor did my proper titular
indications, but who cares. Big love, R

Editor’s note:  Eegee’s is a frozen, fruit flavored drink drive through in Tucson.  Oh, my, but they are wonderful!

Garbage Soup

Proving my point that gloops of poop raining from flying rats is in no way
lucky, the grant to fund my work didn’t come through and I’m sick of this
monastic lifestyle. It was cool when I pretended to prefer the austere, but
the truth is that I like having and spending money. I don’t and can’t, so
I’m obsessed. It’s not just my money either. I’m obsessed with other
people’s money ­ YOUR money.

I don’t want you to go out on Valentine’s Day and drop a chunk of change on
flowers that were coated in pesticides, kept in a green house, and shipped
across the country. What is that supposed to say? “I love you so muchly that
I’m giving you something unnaturally begotten. Also, in its making a part of
the world was poisoned. Lastly, even with the aspirin dissolving in the
water, it’s doomed to die leaving nothing to show for the cash. THIS is the
symbol of my love for you.” Please. Save your money. Buy a plant. I hear
that bamboo palm is good for taking formaldehyde out of the air.

But it isn’t my business, is it? I try to keep out of other people’s money
and for the most part I am successful (sorry Todd). I find that reading
books about how others cope with money satisfies part of this urge. Not real
money books that would contribute to solvency in any way like Here’s Where
You Can Get Money Even If You Are Lazy and What to Do with It Once You Get
It. Nothing so helpful as Here’s a Fortune Waiting for an E-mail from
Rebecca Ballenger or You Idiot! I Told You to be Smarter about Your Money:
Fine I’ll Just Fix it For you.

The books I read are more voyeuristic. Not Buying It: My Year without
Spending sits on my nightstand because I want to know that someone,
somewhere, is doing what I don’t have the guts to do. In 2003, I went on a
spending boycott as part of a silent protest to cripple the economy. It was
a statement about how we should behave during war to counterbalance the plea
that we go to the mall post-9/11. I also had hope that corporate America
would lose its interest in Congress and find power with the people.

Not surprisingly, this campaign is another failure on my long list. Even
with lower approval ratings than his “read my lips” dad, Bush’s request that
American’s buy all sorts of crap they neither want nor need carried more
sway than my refusal to wield my pitiful buying power. I was unable to bring
down the economy because I was unable to keep my billfold closed (and there
wasn’t much in that billfold from the get-go). The unfortunate side effect
was that my husband and children were forced into covert Eegee’s
consumption.

These pseudo-experimental books always disappoint me just a little. The
author of NBI considers her New York Times subscription a necessity, like
she can’t read it on-line or find it at the library. I was also disappointed
with Nickel and Dimed because Ehrenreich kept insurance and a car. How is
that an experiment worthy of my insomnia?

Because I am not getting my fill of other people’s money, I am compelled to
request that you forget the expensive roses! Instead, share this recipe for
Garbage Soup, from a Sonoran Desert cookbook (with editorial from me). It
would be good for your wallet, the environment, and an honest statement
about the longevity of love.

INGREDIENTS:
water (the elixir of life)
vegetable waste (eggplant sounds like elegant fare for a Valentine dinner,
but gack!)
coffee grounds (from the pot you shared over morning breath)
eggshells (you already walked on them so they are nicely crushed)
other similar kitchen waste (so not the shit you sling at each other like
monkeys after the kids are in bed)
not grease (this is about living plants not the yummy goodness of
slaughtered lambs)

DIRECTIONS: Chop waste in food processor or blender with equal parts water.
Mix it up until it’s as convoluted as your fights. Bury soup around outer
edges of plants along side the hatchet.

Commercial fertilizers can kill beneficial microorganisms in the soil. This
recipe for plants can be used in lieu of those fertilizers. Can you feel the
love?