Chairman of the Bored
SINATRA SPEAKS!
He says I’m not going to like this weekend, that he will be gone a lot and that things in the house will be moved around and something about Spring Cleaning, blah blah and blah. Like I care whether he’s here or not. But what’s all this about cleaning? I’ve got every single thing in the house lightly sprinkled with my shedding pelt in a post-pseudo-feline-impressionist-modernist perfection. Doesn’t he realize that he will be despoiling art meant for the ages? It’s installation art that I’ve been working on since last year! Doesn’t he recognize the circles of white hair I leave sleeping on the white couch is obvious performance art and an installation about the absence of all figures but texture? It’s bad enough that he carries out so much white hair on his dark suits, but this is blasphemy! While he is gone, I shall surely poo in his shoes.
I READ THE NEWS TODAY, OH BOY
I’ve blogged in the past that there have been times when I’ve written emails that I regretted hitting the “send” button almost the moment the flaming piece of crap hurtled toward the fan. Well, Google is adding a feature to its email that will let you “undo send” — but you’ve got to act fast!