UPDATE!
Many of you know my friend, Rush Riddle. He’s FAMOUS. In all those years, I’ve been to one May Day party, back in 88, I think, and the parties are famous and rightly so. Ellis Island, wow.

I didn’t go out Friday night, I didn’t go out last night, and now I’ve missed church on Sunday morning. I started to go out Friday night, but I was simply tired and a little bent out of shape by something silly that happened at my noon Friday AA meeting, so I made the decision to chill out at home. I turned the lights low, fired up some incense, put on some soothing jazz instrumental music and petted the cat until I “got my mind right”, as Cool Hand Luke’s Strother Martin character might say. Last night, I fully intended to go out and picked out a killer outfit of black and brown, but then I realized: where are you going, John? What do you think you are going to do?

I made a cold blooded, ruthless decision not to have a romantic life until other areas of my life were more settled so I could concentrate on what I see as more important priorities. It’s the right decision, I feel confident. For one thing, I wouldn’t want my sisters or daughter to date someone in my position right now. The rule, ladies, is “if his finances are messed up, his life is messed up”. So, what was I gonna do on Saturday night? Chase some unknown woman I really didn’t want? Capture and release like trout season? Maybe just show off to some Paseo acquaintences? Stand around and look well dressed for no reason? It was too late to call for a date, even a date with just friends.

The little circle you see is called an enso and the idea is to use a single brush stroke to create a perfect circle, the same width all around, that starts and ends at exactly the same point. My sensei, the late Claude Anderson, did an enso every day and claimed to be able to tell what was good and bad going on with his mental/emotional/spiritual life depending on where and in what way the enso was imperfect, as they always are. I can’t do that. But, for me, this is a pretty good enso and that’s what I did Saturday night. Oh, and I also did this one:

This one is not within the tradition of sumi-i, as is the enso. This one has several sumi-i forms, including the enso and some bamboo, also a sumi-i “golden” form, but it’s no intended as a formal sumi-i at all: it’s an expression of where I was Saturday night with confusing signals from several directions. I’d like to think my Saturday night was better spent doing this than going out and being frustrated and crazy and spending money I can’t afford.
Meanwhile, I missed church again this morning. I’ve missed church several weeks, maybe even months by now. It’s silly for me not to go since I enjoy myself at church. I like Robin Meyers’ sermons, they always make me think. I like the people in my congregation, they are mostly earnest liberals like myself. Mostly, I need the time outside the house and out from in between my ears, where ghastly things happen. Also, it’s very cheap “entertainment” — much less costly than a movie on a Sunday afternoon. I’ll probably go to the Barnes and Nobles on May instead. Lots of folks seem to treat B&N like church, they are regulars and they are seekers. It’s still not quite the same.
Well, that’s the news from Casa Woebegone, where all the children are smart.
Blogblah