I’m unenthusiastic about blogging today because I’m just flat out full bore unenthusiastic today. The privacy shattered Sharon used to josh me about being bored and tired with ennui. I have a complete give-a-darn attitude. I’m the embodiment of the joke song sung by Madeline Kahn (brilliantly lampooning Marlene Dietrich) in Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles: I’m so tired.

Watched The Exorcist last night in a rare Friday Night Movie after dinner with Oz, Deb, SuzArt and The Gary. Special guest appearance, also a great rarity, by the one and only Dan D. O’Lay, who won the rake off with a stunning bon mot that left the usually very quick SuzArt speechless.

Dinner was also unusual: we went to Hideaway for pizza after the Paseo end of the week drink rituals.

Afterwards, I felt it was too early to go to bed on a Friday night at 10:30 p.m., so I took a peek at the GSpot and saw Christian, off work from his gig at school and at his food service gig. He says he’s taking the month of June in Dominican Republic and it sounds great. Also saw that put-together band that’s fronted by the big, pony-tailed former front man for DeNada. It was the best band not seen by anyone last night, the crowd being quite sparse.

I’m buying nicotine patches today, folks, so I want to repeat: if I should offer to rip off your head and shit down your neck sometime between now and Christmas, don’t take it personal, I’m just trying to quit this evil nicotine weed I smoke.

Of course, even after I quit, I’ll still be “smokin'”, as Jim Carrey, the man behind the Mask, would say.

I can’t quite get up any enthusiasm for my lovelife right now. Just got offered tickets to a wine tasting at Cowboy Hall and I just don’t know if I have it in me to find a date and dress up. The prospect of costuming for the several masquerades tonight almost overwhelms me. Ho Hum.

Supposedly got a payday yesterday that will help me either pay off debt or finish my kitchen floor, I’m not sure which yet. Of course, I might still blow it on clothes.

My son is going back to New Orleans next week to get his stuff. I’m tempted to go with them just to see for myself what’s left of the coast and one of my favorite cities.

Lunch with Mom and grocery shopping are in my immediate future. If I think of anything else, I’ll either write it or forget about it.

…parting is such sweet sorrow…

Alas, Thursday evenings will be darker now that OCAM has suspended it’s cocktails on the roof get-togethers.

Went to see “History of Violence” with Viggo Mortenson, Ed Harris and William Hurt, among others, since I couldn’t go to the roof. Ran into Babs and we watched it together. We had to go. All our other friends had raved about this film. It was, as they had said, pretty good and there was, indeed, a sexy scene on a staircase.

I tried to go to Flip’s after the movie, but the Hornets game ended about the same time and the home town team won the game against Houston right at the buzzer and the folks coming in around 10:30 p.m. were so freakin’ loud in the bad accoustics of that place that I couldn’t stand it, not even with a cute cute cute brunette at the bar giving me the fuzzy eye of beer goggled admiration.

Saw Ralph sans Sharon and Catholic Kelly at G-Spot and heard a very strange Phantom of the Opera open mic night keyboard player.

…parting is such sweet sorrow…

Tonight on the paseo, in front of several witnesses, Larry P once again refused all comment for purposes of this blog. The elusive newsmaker was mysteriously missing his gorgeous blonde companion. He was drinking heavily as evidenced by the large number of straws and citrus slices on his table. Whatever cheap booze he was swilling, sources close to Larry P described the clear liquid as capable of taking the paint off a car. When will this famous newsmaker come clean with the American public?

Larry P’s equally closemouthed associate, the privacy shattered Sharon, was supposedly out of town on business and unavailable for comment. Just a coincidence?

Meanwhile, the always controversial SuzArt is reported to be in contact with literary agents concerning a book she’s allegedly writing. Local characters are suspected to be involved in the possible tome. Is there a conspiracy against Blogblah!!! and its writers between the press-gagged pair and the fiery redhead? Stay tuned.

In related news, the blue jeans clad Kat with a “K” actually served coffee to my hero, Michael Hoffner, sometime this morning at the redoubtable Red Cup while The Gary looked on. Suspiciously, a certain local artist whose name is not Brent sat next to MH on a couch and the two conferred privately. Matt, ever sensitive to such things, smelled out a conspiracy to illegally place an Indian casino in Guthrie, complete with “cathouse” upstairs, while a taxi driver blithely pitched Irish Catholic woo to a young woman.

Will our troubles never end?

Button cooked up platters for a prominent family in her best Martha Stewart style, complete with these celery snacks filled with dates and nuts and cream cheese and other yummy things. So domestic after such a slatternly display of flesh in a hidden-away nightspot over the weekend that the change makes the mind addled.

In other news, Bob O, rider of not one, not two, but three, count ‘em three, scooters, showed up today on his smallest Hardly Davison, repleat in his black leather jacket with mucho zippers. His keychain makes female orgasm noises? Yes, that’s right fans. His keychain makes the sound of a woman’s voice imitating a woman having an orgasm. How cool is that?

change of tone here. No snarky smirk in the voice for this paragraph Saw Mom today and she seemed in good health, good spirits and once again displayed a very sound mind. Thank God for the health of my mother. I could not be more happy to see her out and about and involved in community and personal matters.

I’ll be honest enough to admit that I feel vindicated, smug and gloating over the indictments coming down against the White House, the administration and GOP congressional leaders. Remember when W promised in 2000 to “restore integrity” to the White House? Fuckers.

IT’S NOW OFFICIAL: Yours truely has been named translator for Danny Lay. Thank you, I’m not worthy … no, really… folks, just calm down and take your seats …

The Gary has had a death in his family and he was bummed. Sorry, guy. You know we got your back, son.

Kat’s Mom said she was cleaning out rooms to remodel at her house and turned up Claude Anderson’s obituary. Oddly, the discussion today also included SuzArt’s quest for funeral songs and Peter’s harmonica work at Claude’s and other funerals, with Peter himself giving the artist’s P.O.V. .

Craig the bartender almost lost his “man card” for having the top up on his Celtics green MG, but bought off the procter with a sparkling fruit beverage.

Higgins was debonaire deluxe in his beret and company jacket and recounted a story about his first use of a fiberglass vaulting pole.

Hold up your fingers in a “V” and shout “Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!”, ’cause it’s the good old days back again.

Didn’t blog this weekend and I apologize to both of you who read this blog. Sorry, Mom. Sorry, daughter.

What kept me away from the keyboard, you may ask. Hmmm. A gentleman never kisses and tells.

Friday, went to JRB at the Elms to see the Function as Art show Joy Reed Belt put on. As usual, it was a lovely time with champagne and munchies and a very laid back and comfortable crowd of people. I went with my usual crowd of The Gary, Oz and Deb, SuzArt, etc. As I predicted. I really liked Diane Cody’s silk. I had no way of knowing how much I would like a good deal of the other, all three dimensional, works. Michi Susan’s pottery, Brooks Tower’s mosaic, some of the other artists’ sculptural work and especially tableware, all were worthy of anyone’s good notice. Original and beautiful work of ceramic, metal and wood all attracted me beyond my pocketbook. If you did not go see this show, you must do so if you have any love for beauty.

I tried to make a show that featured Pseudodance and Nicole Moan’s ceramic bustiers at 8th and Broadway over the weekend, but by the time I got there, it was over. I will say that Elastic Cafe’s models made the Moan work look good and vice versa. Jennifer, you ROCK!!!

Other than that, I mostly stayed in my home over the weekend. The cool weather and my warm hearth combined to keep me away from the SuzArt and Button Edgemere garage sale, to my everlasting regret, but I didn’t set foot out of the house the whole of Saturday except for the 10 steps out my door to check the weekend mail and I scurried back inside in my cold sock feet.

Didn’t watch the World Series and have no idea what happened. I really didn’t even answer my phone or check my email. I watched a movie, “Layer Cake”, with the new James Bond in the lead role and now I’m overdue on returning the rented DVD. I liked the movie and thought the actor will make a good Bond; he reminds me a good deal of a British Steve McQueen.

I suspect most of you don’t want to hear about how I cleaned the house and put away a box full of Frankhoma dishes that match my dinner plates, etc. I seem to have needed the “downtime” and to just relax and listen to music and otherwise be quiet.

The other big deal for me this past weekend was family. My sister and brother in law were in town with their friend, Kevin. Also here were my Uncle Jim and Aunt Dot from Mississippi. Kerry, my brother in law, and Uncle Jim tried to play a round of golf at Oak Tree, but it took them an hour and a half to get from my Mom’s house in Heritage Hills up to the course because they got lost. They were so lost that when they got to the course, they went to the pro course instead of the East course and even got lost in the parking lot when they picked up their cart. This made for a good deal of back and forth hilarity from two of the funniest men on the planet. Their earlier foray to Hefner was more successful, I must add, and, to hear them tell it, it was Kerry with the better round at Hefner and Jim the better at Oak Tree. The story about the 70 foot put for birdie was a little on the unbelievable side, but who am I to question such a thing?

Speaking of family, my sister from the East Coast says I never mention her. My baby sister is Mary E. and she is absolutely a doll. Spoiled as hell, of course, but what would one expect from a gorgeous woman who was raised as the baby? I recall quite clearly that my first alone in the car not a double date but a real date to go to the drive in was chaperoned by Mary E. She just whined and cried and threw such a hissy fit that my date and my mother made me take her along. Talk about ruined plans!!! She turned out quite nicely, despite her beginnings. Some day, you may all read here the five rules I’ve learned from her about dating. Hell, why not now?

FIVE RULES FOR DIVORCED WOMEN

1. Make the first date coffee or lunch so you can escape — never never go to dinner before finding out if you can tolerate him for more than an hour.

2. Watch how he treats his mother; he won’t treat you better than he treats her.

3. If his finances are messed up, his life is messed up.

4. A man wants most what he thinks he won’t get, so say “no” at least once.

5. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A DIAMOND TOO BIG OR TOO GAUDY!!!

Th-Th-That’s All Folks! Elvis has left the building.

and maybe the iceman will come as well…considering that cold north wind…but the top stays down on the Miata as long as the sun shines…

Missed the Thursday night rooftop crowd in favor of a cut and style of the mop I’d grown over the past two months while awaiting the approval of the lovely Juliet. Of course, now the photog, Charles, isn’t coming for two more weeks and I could have had a haircut a month ago and achieved the same thing…comes from always thinking you know more than you do about what’s going to happen in the future…

My aunt and uncle, sister, brother-in-law and California friend are all in town, so I’ll be having dinner tonight at Mom’s. A real waste on a Friday night of the Armani suit I’m wearing (thanks, Doug!!!).

Had a spot of lunchtime with a gaggle of Juliet’s girls at Kamp’s, but I had to leave when I had very little to add to the discussion of breasts. I had lots I could have said about breasts, but not a word that had a chance of being heard in that particular crowd. At least, not being heard without getting me into more trouble than I could handle with four women at once. All eight at the table were quite nice, if that means anything.

Stopped by Roccoco last night for a spot of the bubbly with the Oz and Deb. Good jazz and good crowd on Thursdays. If you haven’t dropped in lately, I recommend that you do. Tell Eric he’s the best bartender in town because he might well be.

Hope to catch the show this evening at JRB Gallery at the Elms at 28th and Walker. It’s Function as Art, showing a great many objects d’art that are also functional as clothes, pottery, etc., by about a dozen artists. I already know I like the stuff by Diane Cody — I buy ties from her so that I won’t see every other lawyer in town wearing the same blue and red striped p.o.s. I’ve got on.

Saw The Gary this a.m. holding court at the Red Cup. I ‘spect he’ll be carting his mom from pillar to post this p.m. DeShan was wasting her time with Randy S. instead of paying attention to me, dammit, and she looked fine, fine, fine in her grey, long skirt. Good luck on that bin 73 gig, girlfriend. Kat with a “K” was behind the counter serving up hot coffee at a frantic pace and looking good in a red dress she’d creatively left unbuttoned; funny, but she buttoned right up just when I came through the door. Think that’s a hint? Just coincidence, surely.

Button, button, who’s got the button? She told me she wanted a Christmas tree ornament shaped like a tractor, of all things. I thought she was out of her everloving blonde mind. Nope. While I was wandering around waiting for my hair to be cut, I dropped into one of those temporary Christmas stores at Quail Springs Mall and what should appear but tractor shaped Christmas ornaments. So, today was Christmas on Western for The Button. Happy holidays, darlin’.

I’m really confused about what’s going to happen over the next couple of weeks, but right now I really need to get to work and get cracking on some stuff that has a short fuse, so…

Th-Th-That’s All Folks! Elvis has left the building

This is another day in which the blog has to take a back seat to other obligations.

My Uncle Jim and Aunt Dot from Mississippi are in town and my sister, brother-in-law and a friend of theirs will be here before I can save this blog entry. I look forward to seeing all those folks. My Uncle Jim is, next to my son, the most funny man I know and my sister Jaime is likewise blessed with a life filled with laughter. They are all pleasant companions. I can never think of Jim and Dot without recalling their wedding decades ago when I was but a lad; Dot, red hair blazing, was the most beautiful bride I can recall ever seeing. What she sees in my Uncle Jim will forever be a mystery, but it must be something because they’ve raised kids and worked in the Laurel, MS, school system together for so many decades that it goes back before the mind of man remembereth not.

On a very personal note, I get my hair cut tonight. I’ve been waiting for two months on this hair cut at the behest of the lovely Juliet of Elastic Cafe in order to have my photo taken this weekend. The plan, however, turns out to be flawed: Charles, the preferred photographer, will not be coming in from Los Angeles as planned. A couple dozen of us wannabe models, hairstylists and others are left high and dry.

Last night was the regularly scheduled Paseo dinner and movie night. About a dozen of us went to a lovely rib dinner at Iron Starr on 36th and Shartel. A full room of folks came over to my house and watched Andy Garcia portray the title role in “Modigliani”, thanks to Babs. A really wonderful biopic of the artist, in my opinion.

Due to the family being in town and the haircut appointment, all you folks who expect to see me on the roof at the art museum will just have to be disappointed. It’s a little cool to be up on the roof tonight anyway.

Saw Larry P at coffee this a.m. He says he’ll join the privacy shattered Sharon in refusing to speak around me for fear of seeing his name and words in print on this blog. Meanwhile, he was at Iron Starr last night with the delectible R, his new squeeze. In fact, the women in his life were all over the restaurant last night and I think he’s trying to accumulate the kind of gaggle of “X”s I have. Stick with the one you’ve got, Larry, since lovely blondes who cook aren’t all that common.

Students and teachers who have this weekend off for fall break are filling up the restaurants and bars around town, making it difficult for me to get the tables I want when I want them. Boo!!!! Go Away!!!! Scram!!!! LOL

The Oz and Bride are out of town today on a trip to Ft. Worth to see a show of a contemporary artist I don’t know. Someone whose name starts with “K”, I think. If they come back with a good report, I may follow them down there later this month. My trip to Tulsa last weekend just whetted my appetite for travel and the cool weather and the prospect of fall foilage is piling fuel on that fire. I think son Jack is going to have to go down to New Orleans to pick up some of his abandoned stuff in the next couple of weeks and I’d like to go to see what the deal is in the Katrina ravaged Big Easy. How bad can things be if Cafe DuMonde is reopened?

PLEASE TAKE NOTICE OF THE CHANGES IN THE BLOG

I keep hoping someone will notice that the blogblah!! banner has changed. Dennis the webmaster did a wonderful job re-working the banner to include a shot of my sunglasses and blahblahblah. Much more cool than the plain blue banner that was there before. Kudos, Den! I’ve been working on improvements as well, since you didn’t ask: new short stories and new cool links have been added. Damn. I keep building it, but y’all don’t come. You ain’t even breathing hard. Hey, Dad, wanna play some catch?

Th-Th-That’s All, Folks!

Had a good time in T-Town this weekend.

Drove up in liesurely fashion with the top down and not caring how windblown I’d look upon arrival. The weather was beautiful and I was astonished at how green the state remains this late in the year. Very little in the way of fall foilage, just balmy temps and white fleck clouds on a blue sky.

Stayed on the 16th floor of the DoubleTree Hotel downtown, view of the Arkansas River and the most comfortable bed you can imagine. Damn the expense! It was nice to get out of the jurisdiction and worth every penny that I don’t actually have.

Went up for Tulsa Community College’s Bare Bones film festival and workships. Hung out with the Elastic Cafe crowd and they just about swept the board. Greg Burns was the handsdown winner in best actor category and won a role in an indie film. Of the 12 finalists in the model competition, 7 came from Elastic Cafe agency.

Spent the downtime in the Brookside area. We had coffee at “shades of brown” and wine at “The Grapevine.”

After 11 p.m., Suede was cheek to jowel with hot women in dancing frenzy. Oh My God! Bet there were three or four hot women dancing for every posturing peacock. I’m more of a hold-‘em-close slow dance on the killing field kinda guy, but I had my fun and shook the aging booty because the DJ wasn’t playin’ that shit.

Didn’t get back to the good old OKC until late this afternoon and I’ve been running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off since, so …

Th-Th-That’s All Folks! I’m OUT! Elvis has left the building! No, really, guys…I’m done…that’s it…

OH MY GAWD!!!!!

Did you see DeShan’s black with pink polka dots corset?

She had a waist of about 10 inches, if that. I don’t think she could breath, eat or drink.

Black, shiney hair with ribbons at the base of dog-ear pony tails (a little like the ears on that Star Wars faux black guy, whoever he was) and she was just Barbidoll cute!

Trust me, folks. She looked incredibly good and overall unbelievable.

Meanwhile, accompanied by the golden boy of Raffine in his ever present ball cap (do you think he showers in a ball cap?), the privacy shattered Sharon looked as good as I’ve ever seen her in tall black boots and bright red lipstick. Yeeeoww!!!! She flatly told me she wouldn’t speak to me because she didn’t want to appear in this blog, so I promised she’d be quoted as saying just that. She squealed all the way to other friends where she ratted me out to them. Not to be outdone, The mighty Oz caught it all on film. Yeah! We will give her the fame she deserves. She’s too wonderful not to be famous.

The other half of the Oz’s film team is in Austria right now with his girlfriend, B, having a good time shutting down Slovenian loudmouths. He urges me to come to Europe with my “hero” act, but he knows good and well it’s still the era of the anti-hero over in Austria and that’s why he has the girlfriend there and I don’t.

Cat P made a rare and tragically hip appearance with her usual bitter and, therefore, hilarious humor. I wish she’d quit making nice with her mom and go ahead and marry me. Maybe I could get Charles to take my photo for free if I was his brother in law.

Saw Andy Artis there with his sponsoring/contributing artist wife. Andy was wearing a black “SECURITY” shirt like he knew what he was doing. He’s a pretty good guy, even if he is a fellow lawyer. We had a case together a while back and it was a real pleasure practicing law with him.

Larry P was there with his new tall blond and gorgeous girlfriend. He says she cooks for him, but being that good looking and cook, too? Hard to believe. If it’s true, he’s found himself a find and I wish him the best of luck.

My hero, Michael Hoffner, was there. I knew when I saw him that I was in the absolute hippest place to be in the whole town on this Friday night.

Little John was there in his kilt. ‘Nuff said?

Saw Kelly O and Randy, Keith and Marty B at Sushi Neko before the doings and again at the pulsating center of the crowd at the show.

Christian was behind the main bar. I think that had something to do with how long the drinks lines were. I think he’s great, but he MUST either smooze or be smoozed by every female in a crowd.

Saw a terrific blue ceramic belt buckle for $75, but I didn’t have the room in this month’s budget.

Nicole Moan was bursting out of her ceramic breastplate, not just literally, but she should have been figuratively busting buttons (or breastplates) with pride over her work being shown. Her models were out of this world lovely in these one-of-a-kind bustiers.

Let me just stop dropping names for a minute to say that it was an erotic show when combined with the crowd. Lots of really good looking people dressed up and having fun, mixed with girls in costumes and good food and drink. The hormones were flowing and you could smell, taste and feel it. Of course you could also feel the electronic drums pulsating in your sinuses and that was kind of a downside for me.

The event has become a popular one: there was a line two blocks long to get in before 8 p.m. when I drove up and I gave up on that (as my friend, SuzArt, said: “you’re too good looking to stand in a fucking line!” She’s droll, that one) and went for a short while to the Paseo to chill out while things cooled off at the Farmer’s Market. Saw a few early attendees for Galileo’s presentation of the Burchi Brothers, including Lee and a trio of women he also took to Girlie Show.

Catholic Kelly, looking great in a gold blouse, told me she’d be at the Girlie Show, but there were so many people there she could have been there and I wouldn’t have seen her. Nixon was at the door and I thought we’d put that president under ground several years ago.

I was with the lovely and pseudonymonous Erika West, who was stunning again in a brown skirt and black spaghetti strapped blouse. She kept me entertained for the entire evening. I was lucky to be able to spend some time with this energetic educator. Go see her blog, it’s linked at right: Karmic Ironies.

Th-Th-That’s All Folks!

Mary Beth is back home in Memphis, albeit not as timely as she had hoped. Her plans were to leave OKC all packed by noon and get to Memphis about 7 p.m. Sunday. She didn’t leave until 4 p.m. and only made it to Russellville, Ark., before having to stop. All’s well that ends well and she’s safely ensconsed in her new home according to the email note I got today.

I don’t have the vocabulary to communicate my feelings about seeing her this weekend, even were I to write 100,000 words. She may have said it best when she wrote that she still loves me and doesn’t seem to have any choice in the matter. MB, I feel absolutely the exact same way.

Meanwhile, I’ve had a series of acrimonious emails from another woman from my past that went on over the weekend. So sad. I know for certain that I still love this woman and that she has very strong feelings of affection for me. She tells people she loves me, and I believe it. Nevertheless, we can’t seem to get along. Part of the answer to that riddle is fear. We’re afraid of each other in some way(s), I think, and that makes us lash out. Let me back up and little and not try to speak for her. I’m afraid of her and the least little thing can set me off. When you add to that the lack of emotional communication by written word and my propensity for vivid language, the chances of acrimony increase exponentially. I believe there must be something of that going on with her as well. I wrote something in the blog with nothing but fondness and she read something entirely different, even quoting me as saying something that was no where in the text. An extremely similar situation led to our breakup — I wrote an email with one intent and she read abusive intent into my words and broke it off with me. Again, 100,000 words can’t express my feelings of sadness, frustration, hurt and unrequited love. The relationship is Humpty Dumpty now. Neither of us, I sadly admit to myself, will ever have the trust to get anywhere near where we once were. I think it’s hopeless to even think that we’ll be able to put Humpty back together again, not even with the help of all the King’s horses and all the Queen’s men.

I was also supposed to see the pseudonymical Erika West this weekend, but that didn’t work out. Her busy schedule and a new automobile trumped my getting to visit and looks like it will be a barrier again this week. The course of true love is never smooth, they say.

In a sense, none of that matters. I’ve been so crazy about the lovely Juliet lately that I don’t know that I have time for anything else. Sometime I’ll write at length about my lifelong quest for the perfect kiss, but let me just say at this point that the lovely Juliet has some special magic about the way she kisses. I feel sorry for anyone who has never been kissed in the way I’ve been kissed by Juliet. It’s worth anything and everything. VERY VERY VERY special.

One more “former” to mention…a certain antiques dealer looked so killer yesterday in white pants and kinky high heels that I just about couldn’t stand it. I’ve vowed to be as emotionally, romantically and sexually unavailable to her as she is to me, but vows can’t stand up to hormones, it seems, or that they can, but just barely. VA VA VOOM!!! She’s been dieting or working out or something and looks so skinny and … better just leave it at VA VA VOOM.