Man, I’m missing you tonight.  I’m not so much lonely while alone tonight as I am nostalgic for you.  I wish you were here.

I miss the way your lips caressed mine, the way it felt when you nuzzled my chest and tucked your shoulder under my arm.  I yearn for the way your breath feels on my neck.

I’m not trying to do it, but I keep thinking about the way you hold your knife and fork and eat while talking to me animatedly.  I can “hear” you cackling with laughter and rattling on with raucous commentary as we drive along in the Miata, top down despite the fact it’s too hot or cold to be strictly comfortable.

As the radio plays or the CDs unstack, I can feel the heat of your belly mixing with the heat of mine through our clothes as we sway to an indeterminate but slow beat.  We and we alone scuff along the dance floor — at least until the song is over and our eyes open to the world around us.

Damn, I miss you.

I miss sleeping with you.  I mean literally sleeping with you.  Holding you in my arms for the warmth of you.  Waking up smelling you on the pillow and sheets. 

I miss your furrowed reading brow and the dance of cooking in the kitchen.

I yearn for you.

I would listen to all the world’s hateful words three times over without hurt for just another evening of ease with you, when the silence could sometimes be as comforting as the words.

You’re whispering in my ear now.  something about taking myself so seriously.  Ahhh.  Your voice.  The feel of your breath and the smell of it.  God, the smell of it.  How it changed “coppery” at the most heated times.

Oh, how I loved your pout and your triumphs and glories!  How I miss your pride and your thin skin!

Across a room filled with party-goers, with my back turned and engaged in another conversation, I would recognize your sotto voce and giggle.  Ah, but that memory pains me.  I loved the way you swam in my waters so effortlessly, born to it. 

Yet, every moment that passes increases the gulf between us just as I’m trying to hold you so very closely in my memory.

You fucking broke my heart, you bitch